Someday I will be retired...

Someday I want to figure out how we came to be a country where old people get warehoused until they die.  I have been thinking about this over the years as I have navigated the care of my now 92 year old mother, but more recently, because of a comment made by a twelve year old girl in my class.  I made some off hand comment about having a senior moment that must have sounded disparaging to her.  She raised her hand and stated emphatically that I should not make negative comments about being older.  "In my culture, " she said proudly, " you are considered wise and worthy of respect."  That is not a belief that resounds throughout our American culture. 

But there is something else that is dawning on me.  Singer/songwriter Marty Axelrod, in his song, " 26 or 27", looks into the heart of all of us who are aging, which I believe includes everyone on the planet.  He reflects on how though we are all aging and aged, in our hearts we cry out,"I'm about twenty six or twenty seven."

We have retirement homes across the nation filled with people in walkers and various ailments and topped with grey hair or none at all...but in their hearts, like in mine and like in yours, we are all at some younger age when our limbs were agile and our bodies as strong as our spirits and our dreams.

Sitting in those rockers and wheelchairs there are vast untapped resources that if unleashed could change every corner of the universe.  There are artists and writers and thinkers and mathematicians with gifts that go unnoticed and unused.  What is lacking is a means to mobilize their gifts.

In this world where creative minds have designed ways to gather world citizens for micro loans in struggling communities and ways for all of us to tap into each other's lives through social media, there ought to be a way for valuable elderly citizens of our society to contribute in meaningful ways towards making the world a better place.  A wheelchair, feeble fingers, and brittle bones should not exclude any of us from feeling valuable and leaving a legacy of lives lived out for the common good.

Perhaps this is hitting me so strongly today because  recently, The Pilgrims, a singing group that does benefit concerts to bring attention to a ministry that helps kids living on the streets of Seattle, did a holiday concert for fun at a retirement home.  I watched as the residents shuffled or wheeled themselves into the dining hall for the concert.  I watched their faces as the years fell away and smiles engulfed their faces as this men's chorus began to sing holiday favorites.  I watched and imagined the lives each had lived, the stories contained in their hearts, the gifts that would remain unopened as they waited for their life on this earth to end.

One resident left during "Jingle Bells". As she slowly and painfully maneuvered her walker past me, her lips mouthed the words to the song and a beautiful smile crossed her face.  She caught my eyes in a glance and did a little skip jump, her eyes glittering with sweet mischief. I heard the words of Marty's song in my head,  " I am about 26 or 27..."

Someday, I will be retired.  And I vow not to go gently into that good night.  I vow to do all I can to be part of an army of silver haired warriors working to our last breaths to leave this world a better place than we found it.

Ours was a generation that carried signs and marched in the streets and sang vigorously and passionately about the injustices of our times.  And ours was a generation that watched in amazement as the world listened and walls of prejudice and inequality fell.

Let us now be the generation that leaves no gift unopened or unused.   Let us be the generation that never stopped giving ourselves over to the work of healing the world. Let us be the generation who shines light and love and hope into every corner of a hurting world until our time on this earth is done.

And then, and only then, let us be the generation that takes a well-deserved rest.

A Someday I Would Like to See

Someday, I will figure out why people are so mean.  It's becoming an epidemic, this mean-spiritedness, and not something that resonates well with my 60's upbringing where injustice was our focus, not  glaring judgmentalism and a hard-hearted cynicism towards "the other".

I know it is the refuge of the aging fool to start referring to "the good old days'" but having crossed over into the landscape of sixty, I guess I will have to plead "guilty".  However, in my own defense, my cry for another time does not include complaints about worship music, technology, or shifting definitions of social relationships.  I am an ardent supporter of contemporary worship music and composers of such.  I embrace technology , and I am willing to admit that while I don't understand many things about our culture, I don't feel threatened by the changes, except just one: the loss of civility.

Growing up, I seem to recall being taught empathy for others in our household.  We cleaned our plates because others were starving.  We recycled our clothing because others did not have what we have. We did not make fun of others because we had not walked in their shoes. Perhaps it was because, I think in looking back, we were poor.  We lived on the other side of the tracks along with countless other military families.  We went to school with the sons and daughters of migrant workers.  We were "the other".

Perhaps having been "the other" is partially what drew me to become a follower of Jesus.  Here was someone who embraced "the other" with kindness and compassion.  Here was someone who never met a sinner He didn't want to get close to.  And here was someone who reserved every ounce of judgement and harsh words for only one group: religious people who were hard hearted, judgmental and who turned a blind eye towards the suffering of others.

Perhaps this is the crux of my sadness about the current state of human affairs.  For when I am on any social network, the cruelest, most mean spirited postings come from my religious friends and acquaintances.  If someone had never met Jesus, here's what the postings would indicate:  you cannot be a real follower of Jesus unless you are Republican, hate gays, hate poor people, hate the government, hate taxes, hate immigrants, hate_____. Fill in the blank.  It is all about hate and all about what's in it for me.

For the record, I am a card carrying, Bible believing fool for Christ born again and baptized in the Holy Spirit.  And because of that, not in spite of it, I give to Caesar what is his due willingly and joyfully because that is what The Book tells me to do.  Every time I pay a tax to fund any program, I am grateful to do so because I live in a country where those taxes fund every part of the infrastructure I am priviledged to enjoy.  Whenever legislation comes up to create opportunities for immigrants to get an education, I applaud because in The Book I have learned to embrace the alien, for I once was one.  And whenever I hear about the struggles of the poor, I am moved, as Jesus was moved, to reach out and help.

I wonder what non-Christians are learning about our faith from reading Facebook postings?  I wonder how many people have turned away from that path because of the derogatory comments about the poor and helpless?  I wonder when Christians became so mean, and why we seem to be leading the pack instead of weeping and asking forgiveness.

So here's a thought.  What if someday every Christ follower made a decision to not post any public comment without first determining if it passes the "fruit of the Spirit" test.  Because Jesus tells us that others will know if we are His by these fruits.  If our words are filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control -those things that show evidence of Christ's transforming power in our lives- then post away!  If your words are filled with hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, envy, or create dissension, then don't post them...those "other words" are inspired by a different source than the heart of God.

I am not proposing that dissent and differences have no place in social network discourse. I am suggesting, however, that some of us are called to a higher standard in that discourse, a standard that should reflect the same love and compassion that our Creator bestows upon our broken selves.  Someday, it would be nice if we thought about that before posting public words that reflect our private hearts.

That's a someday I long to see.

Someday is today...

My friend, singer-songwriter Jimmy Yessian has a new song called “Someday” that examines all of the reasons we give ourselves to not do that “thing” that should be a priority, whatever that thing is.  I was reminded of that yesterday when a visiting pastor spoke on embracing life’s difficulties.  He stated that most of us live by what I call, “If/Then” rules.  If I get skinnier/fatter/taller/thinner/younger/older (to use his examples) then I can do this “thing” that I should be doing.

Of course, his examples of what we should be doing were far more spiritual than mine, but I think the rule applies, nonetheless.  For I believe that most of us are living in that “cause/effect” world, which is very logical, by the way.  If I DO this thing, then I will get some reward, like the mice in a cage who learn to press a lever and get food.  The problem is, most of us are reaching for a lever that is placed beyond our reach.  Or we are reaching for a lever that doesn’t exist.  Or we are reaching for a lever that everyone around us tells us is there and crucial to a joyful life except that we are wired to never see it.

 What if, and here’s that cause/effect thing again, what if we simply reversed the variables?  What if we simply put the goal first and the steps second ? It might look something like this:  If I go to Hawaii, then I will get skinnier.  If I start a program to help the food banks, then I will find a way to get the money to  fund it.  If I… then… you get the point. 

 I was reminded of this principle when my husband and I went to see a financial advisor, which, if you knew us, would cause you to explode into hysterical laughter.  Our total interest earned on investments last year was about $2.21.  That should give you some idea of what incredible savers we are.  As we were looking at a pitiful list of  assets, the advisor asked why, after 25 years, we owed so much money on our home. 

Feeling a bit like a guilty school aged child, I explained as rationally as I could that we refinanced the house throughout the years to fund important business in our family.  “Like what?” he asked suspiciously.  So again I explained, in as rational a voice as I could, that our daughters needed college educations, and there were two weddings, and then we had to take the whole family to Hawaii.

I cannot begin to describe the look of distain on his face or the tone in his voice when he addressed us.  It was, in his opinion, a terrible mistake to have wasted our money that way.  In his world, if you refinance your house for frivolous reasons, then you will have no money on which to retire (and we are, by the way, not spring chickens).

But here’s what it looks like in the reverse:  Because we refinanced our house and took my in-laws and my mother to Hawaii, we now have memories of a trip that we will take to our grave.  We have stamped into our minds my dear mother-in-law rising exhausted each morning for just one more snorkeling trip.  We have her picture in our minds as she flopped around on a hard seat on the back of a speeding raft over what seemed to be mountainous waves and announcing, “I have always wanted to do this!”  We have memories of her husband, not up to activity, sitting on the porch drinking coffee and doing crosswords as he waved us off each morning to our adventures.  And we have the knowledge that had we not refinanced the house, none of those memories would be there, for his father died a few months later.

So today was another someday for me.  Someday when I have time, I will start a blog.  Inspired by a fellow writer, Ty, I went to set one up and found out I had done so over a year ago, but never written the first word.  Today, I switched the formula.  If I start the blog, then I will have time to write.

Someday is today.